so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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