I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My vagina just clenched in fear
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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