you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
