dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
