She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
