i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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