Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
