they need to just BURY HIM!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
