we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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