and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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