So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
