We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
