do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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