did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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