Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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