You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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