Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
