I hate your face
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You are the jesus of drinking
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
