when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
