i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
True strength comes from lack of pants
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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