Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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