buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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