I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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