You're completely useless in the revolution.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
