He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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