Welp...herpes.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
