I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
