im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
