She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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