In the future we'll all be gay
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You pole danced in your parka.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
