i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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