im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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