i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
