I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
