OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
