I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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