New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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