Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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