WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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