Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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