you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
