my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
