a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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