Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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