alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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