it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
NoShamevember. You game?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
