I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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