So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
