I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
