So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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