i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Say something about gay babies.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
